The Queens Death and the Fallout For Musicians

 I’m reading lots of different opinions on the cancellation of gigs this last weekend. Many people understood and accepted it whilst others have become very angry and are demanding compensation.

I think this discussion is far more nuanced than some people realise.

We musicians are at the bottom of a very precarious food chain. Entertainment is a luxury. It’s the first thing to be kicked into the long grass when the shit hits the fan. Pubs, restaurants, bars etc have faced unprecedented hardship over the last few years and it shows no sign of letting up any time soon.

Pubs are shutting at an alarming rate. The cost of energy is making this winter seem insurmountable for a great many venues and that's a scary prospect for a lot of us. Therefore I appreciate the anger at having a gig cancelled over the death of someone you don't even know but we have to be understanding of the circumstances.

Pubs don't tend to cancel events for the sake of it. They weigh up their options and the pros & cons. Will the neighbours get upset and complain? This can lead to the cancellation of all entertainment at their venue. Will the punters not turn up or get offended? This can lead to a loss of revenue and therefore again, the cancellation of all entertainment.

We musicians rely on venues to support us. Venues rely on punters to support them. We must be flexible and understanding.

I'm not saying that we should charge less or play longer sets etc but a little understanding of the pressures faced by everyone will certainly help in getting us ALL through this tough time.

Yes of course there will always be venues that will try and rip you off but then I've seen plenty of bands who charge for their services and really shouldnt. There's always a few bad apples but let's all make sure that we aren't one of them.

Sorry for the epic nature of this but I feel it needs to be said.

A little more love and a lot less hate.

Cheers, Milo x

Lockdown Thoughts From A Musician

 Well it looks like we might soon be getting back to an actual normality after 16 months of absolute shite. Fingers crossed we shall be gigging to full (standing) houses again and being able to walk around without someone shouting "MASK!!!" every couple of seconds.

As a musician it's been a very rough time. I realise that many people have suffered losses far greater than mine and the thoughts of a person who still has his health, family and friends isn't of any great importance but there we go. Everyone has been put through the wringer (with the exception of Jeff Bezos) and it's worth remembering that the great majority of us suffer in silence. For every person using social-media as therapy, there are many more people putting on a brave face and ploughing on like everything is fine.

Small and medium sized venues have been devastated. Musicians have been forced to do online busking just to pull in a few shekels and still a great many people view what we do as a hobby. Not a real job. I can't tell you how angry this makes me feel. Government has thrown the entire industry under the proverbial bus.

Because of this, some of our old venues, pubs etc. have made the tough decision to scale back their live music programme. This is completely understandable. On the other hand, there are certain venues who have decided to cut their budget and try to get the same performers for (in some cases) half price. This is a total kick in the cannisters for anyone who's been struggling recently. One can only assume that these places are also paying half price for their booze and only paying the staff a similar cut price rate....

...somehow I doubt it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm hugely appreciative of every venue that books me and I would be nothing without you but to simply halve my worth because I'm only a musician is bullshit. Surely it would be better for everyone to have half as many gigs but pay the right money?

After all, if you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

I'm sure there are a great many people with differing opinions and I absolutely accept that but I feel I should let my point of view be heard. 

Thank you for listening x

PS. Go and find me on Instagram, FB, YouTube etc. Please like and subscribe and all that stuff. It all helps in lieu of gigs x

Keep On Keeping On

It looks like Neal Casal killed himself. If you don't know who Neal is it will only take a cursory search to discover he was a musician who covered a lot of ground. A guitarist who played with a great many bands and a singer/songwriter who wrote some beautiful songs.  He was 50 years old. He had just performed at a very large music festival this weekend. He has fans all over the world and yet he decided for his own, personal reasons that it was better if he ceased to be. That the world or at least HIS world was better without him in it.
I'm not a fan of these "repost to show someone is listening" memes that do the round on Facebook. The bottom line is that sometimes it doesn't matter if somebody is listening. The bottom line is that you feel so sad that you can't carry on. That you have nothing more that you can give. You have done all that you can.
We must change our attitude to sadness. We must not put all mental health problems in the same basket. We must learn to recognise the difference in people's suffering. We must appreciate, understand and most of all accept the fact that there are people in this world who are sad. There's no rhyme or reason. There's no logical answer. There is however, the ability to understand and we can help by understanding the person. We can help by recognising and being considerate. We can appreciate and love people and make them aware of it. This doesn't just pertain to those in an extreme mental state but to any other human being. We are a compassionate species and we must make sure that even the most sad, lonely, upset and emotionally troubled are aware of that.
Chin up x

School Days (R.I.P. Chuck Berry)

When I was in my first year of secondary school we were all tasked with giving a presentation on something. It could be anything we wanted so being of that age i chose guitars. I couldn’t actually play the guitar back then but that wasn’t the point, I was still obsessed by them.

As i gave my talk, the picture I showed to illustrate my love of guitars and guitarists was Chuck Berry. It was a great photo of him wide-eyed with a terrible multi coloured shirt and his trusty 345 around his neck. That photo basically became the template for my whole career as a musician.

A lot of guitarists work backwards to Chuck via the Stones etc. but i didn’t. Even before I learned to play, I loved his songs. His riffs, his lyrics, his stagecraft and that tempo. That awesome rock and roll shuffle. He was the man.

Later on as I got into more music from the 60s it became obvious the huge influence he had. I remember watching the woodstock movie and spotting half a dozen Chuck Berry guitar solos.

When ‘Hail Hail Rock & Roll’ came out I rented it a dozen times from the video shop. Finally I had a chance to watch his fingers and learn some of it. It also made me realise that he wasn’t the nicest chap in the world but I shrugged this off as i was only about 12.

Anyway, my point is that whether you like him or not, if you think his music is old-hat, even if you’d be happy to never hear a bad pub version of Johnny B Goode again; we can all agree that popular music as we know it would not exist without him. 

Hail Hail Rock & Roll indeed x

A Whimsical Top Ten of 70s Rock

As some of you may know, I can sometimes be found singing in a 70s rock band. I've been doing this for nearly ten years and in that time we have pretty much stuck to the well known classics. Give the audience what they want as opposed to maybe what we'd like to play. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm an entertainer and I'm being paid to entertain. What does cross my mind is what 70s rock I would sing if I had the choice?
It's a pretty huge field and many would argue that the 70s was rocks greatest and most prolific decade. With that in mind I shall delve in and see what I come up with.

1. That's All You Need - The Faces

When Rod was still cool. The Faces were a pub band par excellence and they wore their laddishness with pride. Guitars were often out of tune, songs often sped up and it sometimes sounded like they were making it up as they went along but I doubt they cared. I certainly don't. This particular track from A Nods As Good As A Wink is typical Faces. Ronnie Wood and Ian McLagan weaving in and out and then the whole thing finishes up with steel drums. Lovely.

2. I'll Be Creepin' - Free

Before you say anything, I know this came out in 69 but I couldn't give a monkeys. It's a bloody great song by a bloody great 70s band so it's going on the list. Paul Rodgers is the greatest vocalist in rock and with Paul Kossoff they had the greatest white true blues guitar player of the era (I'll probably get some flack for that). When I was a kid I had a VHS of various Free live performances and it made a huge impression on me. My laughably limited guitar playing skills are based almost solely on Mr. Kossoff.

3. 30 Days In The Hole - Humble Pie

Humble Pie seem to be kind of ignored nowadays which is a real shame. I must admit that I'm not a fan of all their stuff but when they got it right they were excellent. This is from after Frampton quit and Marriot became the main man. I'm still amazed a man can sing that high. Bloody unfair!

4. Tell The Truth - Derek and The Dominos (All Things Must Pass version)

A track that had it's roots in Claptons time with the Delaney & Bonnie band. It goes along at a fair old lick and I can imagine with all the cocaine flying around back then, it probably got even faster on occasion. I saw Clapton a few years back and he opened with it, which was a nice surprise.
This version has the added bonus of George Harrison and Dave Mason on guitar.

5. Lawyers, Guns & Money - Warren Zevon

He didn't just do 'Werewolves of London' you know. Zevon is a great writer and this is one of my favourites. "Send Lawyers, guns and money. The shit has hit the fan", is as relevant now as it was then. There's something very evocative about the whole record. It's got a great 70s feel.

6. Just Got Paid - ZZ Top

From the righteous album Rio Grande Mud comes a tune with shit-ton of attitude. I love Frank Beards drumming on this. He's a very underrated drummer old Frank. He's the very powerful engine room for one of the all time great three-pieces. I love how they go off at a tangent for the slide solo and then just pull it all back in with that bad-ass riff.
Under no circumstances should you ever listen to Joe Bonamassa's version. It's an abomination.

7. Feelin' Alright - Joe Cocker (Mad Dogs & Englishmen version)

Another great 70s live album. Apparently Cocker was extremely strung-out during the tour but it doesn't show. The band lead by Leon Russell is on song and the diverse range of material makes the album a real one-off. I almost went with 'Space Captain' but I decided that this just pips it to the post because of the guitar solo. If only my band had ten backing vocalists.....

8. Rock & Roll Doctor - Little Feat

I love Lowell George so much. His voice, his slide playing, his dungarees etc. This band had a dirty funk thing going on that I really dig. A lot of very good musicians at the top of their game. No real show-boating but plenty of cool playing. The Waiting For Columbus live album is well worth a few hours of your time. Try and find the expanded, two disc version.

9. Alabama - Neil Young

I was thinking of going for 'Southern Man' but then I remembered this one. This guitar intro has been reused thousands of times but still sounds fresh. Neil is one of those guitarists that you can spot within seconds. He's certainly not the best guitarist ever but who cares? No one else sound like him and that's never a bad thing.

10. Magic Bus - The Who (Live at Leeds)

If there's one thing that this list shows, it's that the live albums often had the best versions. It's certainly the case with this absolute beauty of a track. I doubt any other band will have the power of the Who in their pomp and if you need an example it's right here. I remember my dad sitting me down to play this to me and I was overwhelmed. I loved it even before Moon comes crashing in with those huge drums but when he does.......*gasp*

Honorable mentions to....

I Just Want To Celebrate - Rare Earth

Funky and dirty and all kinds of low-down. It's suffered a bit recently because of its overuse in films and TV ads but it remains a killer track.

Chest Fever - The Band

A wonderful organ intro by Garth leads in to one of the few riff songs in the Bands catalogue. When it was played live the intro would go on for bloody ages so I'd actually plump for the studio take on this one. Having said that, the Last Waltz is another of the truly great live albums/films of the 70s and if you don't already own it, why not?!?!?

I have added these tunes (I had to substitute Neil Young as Alabama isn't available) to the Spotify playlist that can be found here. https://open.spotify.com/user/milospilo/playlist/0yjKElH3UbGkCcKmfzEVPC

A Whimsical Top Ten of Country Rock Songs

Oh this is going to be fun. Country Rock, Americana, Roots Rock, Southern Rock, there are many different names for a style that really shouldn't have a name. It's not one genre so much as a feel or sound. I'm sure everyone has their own opinion of what constitutes 'Country Rock' so all I can do is put forward my personal take on it. Hope you like it.

1. Can't You See - Marshall Tucker Band

I had an early introduction to this as a family friend worked for Capricorn records, to which the Marshall Tucker band were signed. We therefore had a lot of Capricorn albums kicking about. This was the opening track on side one and it really grabbed me. The soft/hard dynamics of it. It's a country ballad with rock guitars and flute. It really shouldn't work but does. It's also great fun to play live.

2. Over My Shoulder - The Jayhawks

Tomorrow The Green Grass is such a great record. It's got the sound that I've always heard in my head. The producer was George Drakoulias who was also responsible for the first few Black Crowes records so I guess I can lay the blame for the sound in my head squarely at his door.
The Jayhawks had such a great organic quality. It was indie, it was country, it was rock, it was really good stuff.

3. Real Live Broken Fingers & Broken Guitar Strings - Lucinda Williams

My younger sister and I have both worshipped at the altar of Ms. Williams for a great many years. There is something brilliantly tough and bruised about her writing. She also has a knack for finding kick-ass musicians to give her songs the requisite balls. This song just sounds like she couldn't give a fuck but really needs to tell someone anyway. It has the awesome Doug Pettibone on guitar which gives it huge bonus points. Dig when that tremolo pedal kicks in :)

4. Free To Go - Neal Casal

A hugely underrated singer and songwriter who spends most of his time as a sideman nowadays. This is from way back when he first started out and his love of all things Laurel Canyon shines through. The pedal steel and Hammond organ combination give it such a great vibe. You'd never guess it was recorded in the mid 90s.

5. Wild Horses - The Rolling Stones

A lot of people argue that the Gram Parsons version is better (strangely no one ever argues the case for the Susan Boyle version) but as far as I'm concerned this is still the definitive take. Jagger's vocal is totally on point, Mick Taylor sprinkles the song in countryfied guitar fairy dust, and the rhythm section are just the right side of falling apart. Just like all the best Stones songs. The fact that so many country artists have subsequently covered it tells you how completely right the Stones got it.

6. Thank You Girl - John Hiatt

John Hiatt, Ry Cooder, Jim Keltner and Nick Lowe. Now that right there is a fucking band. This is such a great fun track from one of my favourite albums. I almost went for 'Tip Of My Tongue' but I figured this list needed a few more upbeat songs. If you don't own this album, you really owe it to yourself to seek a copy out. I promise you won't be disappointed.

7. Calico County - Steve Earle

I really like Steve's later stuff and this particular track is a belter. I think his voice has got better with age. It sounds like he really knows what he's talking about. It's got venom and I totally dig that. The guitars sound like they were recorded in someones garage. It's the sound of a band having great fun with a simple riff.

8. Let There Be Rock - Drive-By Truckers

A brilliant story song with a killer riff. If anyone wants to know what modern southern rock sounds like, just play them this. The Truckers have a superb back catalogue and are highly prolific. Every one of their albums has a few absolute gems on it and this one (Southern Rock Opera) has more than most. It's one of those songs that when it finishes, you immediately want to put on again.

9. Dont Wanna Know Why - Whiskeytown

Lovely harmonies and counter melodies on this one. A real shame that Whiskeytown never got the recognition they deserved. Their albums are a gold-mine of great songs. Their arrangements were always spot on and they didn't seem to care about fitting in to any genre. I'm gutted that I never got to see them live. One can only hope for a reunion one day.

10. Midnight Rider - Allman Brothers Band

This is such a cool song. What a groove. Duane and Dickey sound absolutely perfect on the guitars and the vocals just float on top. It's impossible to listen to this without imagining driving along with the top down and some big sky above you. Duane Allman was one of the greatest losses to music and especially guitar since Hendrix. God knows what he would have gone on to do had he lived more than his meagre 24 years.

Honorable mentions to...

Drunken Poets Dream - Ray Wylie Hubbard

Everyone should know who Ray is. He's one of the great troubadours of American music. His lyrics are funny, sad, honest and heartbreaking and usually all in the space of one song. Another great example of tight'n'sloppy playing. It sounds like the band could fall apart at any moment but you know that's exactly what they want you to think.

Straight To Hell - Hard Working Americans

This is a cover of a tune by another great southern band Drivin N Cryin. I really like Todd Snider's voice on this. It's a pretty simple three chord tune but the lyrics are great and the band really make the most of it. The live version is an absolute peach.

I've made a Spotify playlist of all the songs I've talked about in these recent blog entries. Please go and have a listen and let me know what you think.
https://open.spotify.com/user/milospilo/playlist/0yjKElH3UbGkCcKmfzEVPC

A Whimsical Top Ten of Blues Songs

Following on from the runaway success of my earlier post (a whole 20 people visited the page) I have decided to continue with the next chapter.
This one is going to be much tougher. I know a lot of blues musicians and I know a fair amount of blues. I can't think of any other musical form that can be so divisive while being so limited. Most blues tunes consist of three or four chords (ok, passing chords, substitutions blah blah blah) and most conform to one of a few set patterns BUT (and it's a big but, fnarr fnarr) it's how you use those limitations that matters.
This list is purely personal and I'm sure everyone has their own opinions and that's a great thing. Please share them with me. I'm always open to new blues.

1. Hush Hush - Jimmy Reed

Jimmy Reed is the king of the shuffle. I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of bands that can properly play a Jimmy Reed shuffle. Lots try. Lots fail.
This groove is just so bad-ass. Tight, sloppy, groovy, nailed-on shuffle. You could study music for a thousand years and still not get it right.

2. Mojo Hand - Lightnin' Hopkins

Another example of sloppy tightness. This is one of my favourite tunes of all time. The lyrics are all kinds of menacing and the guitar playing is spot on. I love the way Lightnin' uses his right hand in such a laid back way. I've tried to play like this and discovered I can't. Mainly because I'm not Lightnin' Hopkins.

3. On The Road Again - Memphis Jug Band

This is a great tune. Full of movement and a great central riff. The chorus is a blinder and it amazes me it hasn't been covered more. You can just imagine someone like Levon Helm laying down a tight drum beat behind it. I like a lot of jug band stuff because I grew up on it but it seems to be treated as the comedy sidekick of more 'serious' blues. I think that does the music a massive disservice. Open your ears and minds and give it a go.

4. Milk Cow Blues - Sleepy John Estes

I bloody love Sleepy John. Put his records on and you can hear the licks, phrases and style that so many later blues players would absorb in to their own music. Ry Cooder, Taj Mahal, Bob Dylan and many others owe a big debt to him. I could have picked any of his stuff so I recommend you find an album and just put it on from start to finish.

5. Freddie King - Takin' Care of Business

Freddie King is the main man of electric blues, as far as I'm concerned. My uncle Rob gave me a cassette of his when I had just started learning the guitar and I listened to it constantly until my walkman finally chewed it up. His style was so cool. Far more direct than the Jazz or Soul leanings of many of his contemporaries. He's also one of the main reasons I play a Gibson semi. (The fact it's black is because of BB King)

6. Boomers Story - Ry Cooder

Ryland P Cooder has the sort of back catalogue that requires constant attention. I could have chosen something from 'Into The Purple Valley' or 'Paradise and Lunch' but this is the song and album I probably listen to the most. I love the songs and I love his guitar sound. What I wouldn't give to be able to make a guitar sing and growl like Ry.

7. Big Mammas Door (Might Return) - Alvin Youngblood Hart

Something a little more up to date. This song is the opening track on an album that all blues guitar players should own (Motivational Speaker) and what an opener it is. Open G dirty guitars giving it the big'un over the old train shuffle beat. What is there not to love about this tune? Dirty dirty dirty.

8. Done Changed My Way of Livin' - Taj Mahal

Two for the price of one because you not only get the awesome Taj but also Jesse Edwin Davis on the guitar. Another hard one to narrow down but I love the tempo and feel on this one. Not to mention Davis' cool-as-fuck guitar playing. The first three Taj Mahal albums (and the Risin' Sons album too) are great blues introduction. Laid back, cool and totally down with it. My favourite albums to play along with.

9. Scratch My Back - The Fabulous Thunderbirds

A bit of a cheat as this way I get to indirectly include Slim Harpo as this is a cover of one of his old tunes. I love the Fabulous Thunderbirds and I'm one of those rare people who loves Jimmie Vaughan more than his more famous brother. This band had that Texas, slicked back shuffle thing going on.
Although I don't know many blues players who wouldn't want to be in the Thunderbirds, I doubt many could resist the temptation to over play. That's the secret. Never over egg the pudding.

10. Hard Again - Muddy Waters

Sod it. I can't pick one track from this genius album. Johnny Winter on guitar, Pinetop Perkins on piano, James Cotton on harp, the list goes on. Not only does this have the best title of an album ever, it also shows just how powerful a force of nature Muddy Waters was.
If ever you want to feel ten feet tall and bad as can be, just pop this on your iPod and step out your front door. Chest beating, strutting blues at its best.

Honorable mentions to...

One Kind Favour - BB King

A timely reminder of why everyone loves/loved BB. This T Bone Burnett produced album sets him up with a killer backing band and strips away all the Las Vegas bullshit. The result is a truly joyous noise.

The Bright Lights E.P. - Gary Clark Jr.

Give it fifteen seconds and you'll know exactly why.

Thanks for reading. Please leave any comments and suggestions below.

I've made a Spotify playlist of these and the tunes from my previous list for you to listen to here https://open.spotify.com/user/milospilo/playlist/0yjKElH3UbGkCcKmfzEVPC

Enjoy!

A Whimsical Top Ten of Acoustic Singer/Songwriter Songs

In an effort to keep my brain distracted from other things, I have decided to jot down my favourite acoustic guitar tunes by my favourite songwriters and some little notes on them. Nothing special or earth shattering but there might be something in there that you've missed.
I'm not going to include blues tunes as I am going to do a separate list of them. Anyway, in no particular order....

1. Girl From The North Country - Bob Dylan (The Freewheelin')

When I first started playing the guitar I had two influences, my dad and Bob Dylan. Many more would quickly follow but it started with these two. We only had a few Dylan records in the house. The first one and Times They Are A Changin' so I had to go out and buy my own copy of this one. I guess because of that it made it more special. Anyway, it's a beautiful song and one I have tried in vain to cover a few times. There are many different versions out there but I still think this is the best one.

2. 1952 Vincent Black Lightning - Richard Thompson (Rumor & Sigh)

This is not only one of the greatest examples of solo acoustic playing but also one of the great story songs. I'm still amazed no one has made it in to a film. Thompson manages to fit more in to five minutes with a single guitar than most people do in their entire careers. Every time I hear this it completely envelopes me and not many tunes can do that.

3. Time - Tom Waits (Rain Dogs)

Speaking of story songs, this is another cracker. It's a lovely moment in life when you 'get' Tom Waits. Once that happens it's fairly natural to become obsessed. This is such a beautiful song that I really can't say much other than to tell you to go and listen to it....RIGHT NOW!!

4. Brave Awakening - Terry Reid (Seed of Memory)

This is a bit of a cheat as it only starts on acoustic before the rest of the band kicks in but it's my list so I'm going to include it. I could have picked any number of songs from this great album. The opening track is a belter and starts with one of the best acoustic guitar riffs but I'm choosing this one mainly because I've spent many a late night singing this at parties with drunken friends (you know who you are!).

5. Couldn't Love You More - John Martyn (One World)

I was introduced to this song via the Old Grey Whistle Test and I actually prefer that version to the studio cut. Either way it's a lovely song that doesn't over stay its welcome. The tuning he uses on this is a complete bastard but once you've learnt it, you won't stop playing it.


6. Helplessly Hoping - Crosby, Stills & Nash (Crosby Stills & Nash)

Harmonies.

7. Cautious Man - Bruce Springsteen (Tunnel Of Love)

It's tricky to narrow it down to one acoustic boss song but this one is just so good. It contains all the usual Springsteen themes and he weaves them together in to a heartbreaking meditation on heartbreak, loss and love. The lyrics are superb. This album doesn't get a lot of love because it's got some pretty dated 80s production but I highly recommend you give it another try.

8. Elephant - Jason Isbell (Southeastern)

While we are on the subject of great lyrics, you can't get any better than this. Another album where it's almost impossible to choose just one track but this morning I'm going with this one. Why this man isn't a superstar is beyond me.

9. Sweet Baby James - James Taylor (Sweet Baby James)

The first song I ever played in a folk club at the Penny Theatre in Canterbury in about 1991. Why I decided to choose a fingerpicked song with a million chords still remains a mystery but needless to say I screwed it up. I just loved the song so much. I'm a sucker for a lullaby and this is a near perfect one. It's a shame that Taylor slipped in to such a bland place as the 70s wore on . His first few records were terrific.

10. Oh My Sweet Carolina - Ryan Adams (Heartbreaker)

Any song that features EmmyLou Harris is immediately awesome as far as I'm concerned. When her beautiful voice appears for the first chorus it makes your hair stand up and your heart skip a beat. Probably Ryan Adams best acoustic record from his purple patch. The boy can definitely write a tune.

Honorable mentions to..

Wont Be The Last Time - Justin Townes Earle (Nothings Gonna Change The Way I Feel)

This is another beautiful song. The production is superb, the lyrics are sublime and the whole thing just feels so good.

Blue - Lucinda Williams (Essence)

I find it hard to choose my favourite Lucinda album let alone song so I shall just go with this for now.

and finally....... everything by Jackson Browne x

I made a Spotify Playlist of the tunes that you can find here https://open.spotify.com/user/milospilo/playlist/0yjKElH3UbGkCcKmfzEVPC

A Question and A Thought about The Blues

*Blues Musician Rant Alert*

I'm just listening to some blues on the radio and it made me think of something that I've been quietly shouting (can you do that?) about for a while. It's this idea of clean blues vs. dirty blues.
This is a really interesting subject and seems to divide blues players quite a lot. 

In essence, clean blues started with T-Bone Walker and BB King and continues with Robert Cray, (modern) Eric Clapton and Joe Bonamassa. A sound based on clean lines, clean notes, clean production etc. I don't necessarily mean clean tone as in 'not distorted', I mean clean as in 'never wrong'. 

On the other hand we have dirty blues, that's the kind of dirty noise that Elmore James and Jimmy Reed used to play and is now carried on by the likes of the N.M.A., The Black Keys, Gary Clark Jr. and (in his own way) Tom Waits. Nasty tones, wrong notes, tub-thump drums and a whole lot of sleaze.

I appreciate that both can coexist and I like a lot of both but there seems to be a reluctance to cross-breed with each other. I'd love to hear a Bonamassa album recorded with Jack White or The Black Keys back up Clapton. Can you imagine what a joyous noise that would be?

What I guess I'm trying to say is that all us blues types can get stuck in the most terrible ruts and we must try to think about what makes our music so good. It aint Jazz, it aint Funk, it aint Soul and it aint Rock. It's the blues and the blues is all of those things and so we should bring it all to the party. Play everything with a wink in your eye, lust in your heart and fire in your fingers. In the end it's all about love and love can be dirty and love can be clean but at it's best it's a mixture of both.

x

(All comments RT's, shares etc. are to be encouraged. I'm very interested to hear peoples point of view on this)

Birthday Ramblings

Ok. I've finally finished celebrating my birthday. It has been great fun and all those people who cancelled (a lot of people who no longer fall under the 'friend' category) missed out on a hell of a good weekend.
A lot of people continue to be surprised by why and for how long I celebrate my birthday and I never tire of explaining why.

I was brought up in a family of entertainers. My mum and dad were both performers and my grandad was a legend of the London club scene. There was never any doubt about how we as kids would turn out and thank god that was the case.
The very idea of not having a party is (and always shall be) ridiculous. I was surrounded by parties and laughter since I was born and the very idea that I should allow an excuse for good people to enjoy themselves to pass by is just plain dumb. I have the best friends in the world and genuinely all I want is for them to have a good time. Smiling is the best thing in the world and in this day and age it's more important than ever. My delight in my friends and family's happiness is beyond measure. 

..so basically what I am trying to say is that you are all awesome. I feel sorry for all the people that don't have you as friends.

As Bill Shakespeare said, "But if the while I think on thee, dear friend, All losses are restored and sorrows end."

Thank you dear friends x

2014 That Was The Year That Was

As I lay here in bed with the best part of two weeks worth of washing surrounding my bed, I decided in the spirit of procrastination to write a year in review instead. This might seem a little extreme when you think that it'd take about five minutes to gather up some clothes and chuck them in the washing machine but that would require moving and I am an extremely lazy man.

So... what has happened in 2014? I'll tell you one thing that has and that's the use of the word 'So'. Some of my chums have become SO addicted to using it to start sentences that my inner grammar-gerbil has fallen off his wheel and is now spasming on the floor of his cage. I'm not sure where this vocal tic has come from (although I have my suspicions) but I wish it would bloody go away again. It's up there with Australian cricketers starting every statement with the word 'Look'.

Ok, the rant is out of the way now. What else..?

As far as books and films and music is concerned it has been a mixed bag. I watched a lot of films but didn't enjoy a great deal of them. I read only a few books but didn't really get inspired by them. On the other hand I listened to a great deal of music and was genuinely inspired. I didn't go to as much live music as I would have liked (that is the curse of the gigging musician) but what I did see was of top quality. As a lifelong Fabulous Thunderbirds fan, seeing Jimmy Vaughan was a dream come true and he didn't disappoint. Both Ryan Adams and Robert Plant at the Roundhouse were excellent.
As for recorded music I discovered several new bands, a few old ones and rediscovered many that I had forgotten about. Hooray for the joy to be had in music.

On a personal musical level, it was another good year for the band. Regular gigs, new venues and plenty of new friends has made our job as musicians that much easier. It's always a delight to be greeted with warmth on the return to a venue. Us musicians are an insecure lot and things like that make all the difference.
I've also been writing a lot this year and have several things in the pipeline. If I can get my arse in gear, expect some exciting news in 2015. That said I can't even be arsed to do my washing at the moment so don't hold your breath.

Looking back on 2014 I can't in all honesty say it was a great year for me. I had some horrible ups and downs. I was shunted from pillar to post by the doctors and have just been informed I must go through the process again. My diary is as full of NHS appointments as it is gigs at the moment. One of the many joys of getting old I suppose.
On the other hand I met some truly lovely people and did some truly lovely things. Beer festivals, cricket matches, weddings, barbecues on the beach etc. Most of these were limited to summer but isn't that always the way?
One should never underestimate the great qualities of sunshine and friends.

One last thing before I go and finally put the washing on and do the vacuuming and the washing up and the dusting etc. and that is to raise a glass to my wonderful family who keep getting better and better. The sheer amount of talent in my Mum and my siblings is astonishing. I only wish my old man were still around to see it.

So (gah!!!) take care in 2015. A little more love and a lot less hate. Whatever happens, try and be one of the good guys.

Miles x

Lists etc.

There's a trend over on Facebook for putting up lists of favourite movies, albums etc. so in the interests of posterity I am reposting the 'best albums' one here. Cheers!

A mate asked me the question, what are my favourite albums and why so here we go..

1. Sticky Fingers - Rolling Stones. A far more concise, tough and solid album than 'Exile' which always gets the attention. It's full of great riffs and in 'Sway' has the best guitar solo of any Stones tune.

2. Late For The Sky - Jackson Browne. If I could write just one song one tenth as good as this collection, I'd die a happy man.

3. Fire & Water - Free. The best album by my favourite (british) guitarist. Only 7 tracks long and each one is a blinder. Side one opens with the title track, side two opens with 'Mr Big' and the whole thing ends on 'All Right Now'. Top stuff.
4. Tunnel of Love - Bruce Springsteen. A hugely underrated album by the Boss and one I keep coming back to. 'Cautious Man' is probably my favourite song of his entire catalogue.
5. Southern Harmony & Musical Companion - Black Crowes. Best guitar sounds of any album ever. If you're a sad '70s rock head, you'll love it.
6. Boomers Story - Ry Cooder. It's hard to pick a single Ry Cooder album but at gun point I'd choose this one. Although even as I type this I'm thinking of changing it to 'Paradise & Lunch'.
7. Freewheelin' - Bob Dylan. I learnt every track of this album. 'Girl From the North Country', 'Hard Rains Gonna Fall', 'Don't Think Twice It's All Right' etc. I was tempted to choose 'Blood on the Tracks' but I think this one just shaves it because its influence on me as a young man.
8. Rain Dogs - Tom Waits. The great starting point for anyone wanting to get in to the crazy world of Waits. It's one of those rare albums that gets better with every listen. It's worth the price of admission for 'Time' alone.
9. The Bends - Radiohead. A nostalgic choice for the memories it conjures up when ever I listen to it. Undoubtedly Radioheads most melodic album.
10. Hideaway - Freddie King. The most influential guitarist on me. My uncle Rob sent me this on cassette when I first started learning the guitar. I listened to it until my walkman chewed it up. I have subsequently purchased several more copies on different formats. I know it's a compilation but I don't care. It's bloody brilliant.

So there you have it. This list is only the tip of a huge iceberg and is subject to change at any time depending on my mood. Feel free to criticise, question or otherwise stick your oar in.
x

The Best Laid Schemes o' Mice an' Musos

I was recently involved in an experience that many musicians will relate to. I was asked to be involved in a gig that was being put on for a friends birthday. The date was a long way off and we only had to play for half an hour or so. Ok so far. The line up was to be various friends of varying ability. I agreed on the understanding that I am busy with my own bands so wouldn't be able to rehearse much. This was accepted, I put the date in my diary and thought no more about it.

Over the next few weeks, I bumped in to various members of this 'band' and it became apparent that not everyone was on the same page. Some were super eager, while others were.....less so. I shrugged and ordered more beer (there are few things in life that can't be made better by ordering more beer).

Anyway, last weekend it was decided to cancel the whole thing. We all got a text (well I did anyway) saying that it was not working out and it was best if we knocked it on the head. This made me smile a little as it's certainly not the first time this has happened to me and I'm sure it won't be the last. My musical history is littered with stillborn projects and forgotten ideas. What seems great on Friday at 11pm, soon becomes a bit of a pain when you can't be arsed to rehearse on a Tuesday night. The obscure tribute act that everyone wants to be part of is destined to get a name but no more than that.

What it boils down to is the fact that musicians are terrors for being lazy, egotistical, stubborn and (most importantly) easily distracted. We are constantly talking a good fight and then having our head turned by another offer. It's not our fault. We are artists (except drummers) and we have brains that don't like to stay still. I'm sure there is some science to it but I'm a musician, not a scientist so I shall leave that one for someone else.

Suffice to say I'm sorry to everyone I ever included in any of my half-baked musical ideas and I hope that you don't hold it against me. Maybe we could get together and have a jam? Not next week though as I'm quite busy....how about Tuesday week?.....I'll give you a shout....soon....

Ok Is Still Great

I'm writing this on a Monday night. Monday is a strange day for musicians. No one really plays gigs on a Monday so it's kind of like a 'Sunday' for performers. The problem is it gives you a chance to contemplate what has been and what will be. To think about the gigs you've played recently and the ones you have coming up. A chance to build up (in your mind) things that need not be built up.

I was recently speaking to a much younger musician who was saying how much they were looking forward to their up coming gig. I realised I wasn't looking forward to mine at all. It made me sad, guilty and surprised all at the same time. When did I stop enjoying gigging?!?!

The answer is that I haven't stopped enjoying it. I still love playing music with my friends. It is one of life's great pleasures. The problem is that it is no longer an occasional thing. It happens all the time. Therefore it's understandable that the novelty wears off. You can't expect to feel that buzz forever. It's sad that the post-gig downer is still very much present but I guess you can't avoid that if you go from a large crowd of people to no one in the space of an hour or so.

It makes me think that I must do more to reignite my excitement. What can make the ordinary extraordinary again?

I was speaking about this problem to a friend the other day. He pointed out that not many people can go out on a saturday night to a pub, have a few beers, be the centre of attention all evening and then get paid for it. I should stop looking a gift-horse in the mouth and be grateful for what I have.
He is absolutely right. I have nothing to complain about. Once again I have let my wandering brain take me to a place I have no right to be.

This famous quote sums it up perfectly.

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.

So if anyone sees me at a gig, looking like I'd rather be somewhere else. Feel free to remind me of how lucky I am. I do need to be reminded from time to time.

x

A Few Words About My Dad

As it's 'Fathers Day' today I thought it would be fun to have a little reminisce about my dad who passed away back in 2005. No depressing stuff, just a few choice memories about one of my best friends.

Brian Cookman was a lanky bugger (which explains where I get it from) who liked hats. He had a lot of hats. In fact we had drawers and shelves full of hats at home. This fact is of no importance or relevance but it makes me chuckle. If you 'google' my old man, you will find pics of him in a variety of head gear.

Brian Cookman played the guitar and harmonica. I play the former but have never mastered the latter. I was always jealous of my dads ability with the harp-on-a-rack thing. He could play the face-piano in various positions (seated, standing etc.) which never made sense to me. I always thought 1st position was something to do with ballet but it's also a harmonica technique apparently. He was a left handed gent who learnt the guitar right handed. His explanation was that it was almost impossible to find a left handed guitar in Pinner in the early sixties. I like that attitude. "Oh well. I can't be bothered to restring it so I'll just learn it backwards".

One of his most common remarks (after all the usual stuff aimed at me, my siblings and my long suffering mum) was "Oh England!" This was groaned out and usually followed by him placing his head in his hands. Every time we batted badly, bowled badly, got knocked out of a world cup etc. he would start shouting about how they get paid for this and if I was crap at my job I would be fired so how come they get paid to be useless?!?!?
His logic seemed sound enough.

His long term influence over his family and friends is immeasurable. This is my happiest feeling about my dad. Whether it's the records I listen to, the books my brother reads, the attitude my younger sister has or the parenting skills my older sister employs, they all have a recognisable touch of 'Dad' in them. Many of my best friends who I see all the time started out as friends of my mum & dad. Likewise, many of my social group from my youth ended up being friends with them. Even after all this time, a week won't pass when I don't hear someone say a kind word about Brian. How cool is that?

I could go on and talk about his musical influence on me. Our various road trips to crap gigs in folk-clubs and beer festivals. How we shared a love of silly films. His readiness to wax poetic about sunlight streaming through a pint of bitter. His Tai Chi obsession. His use of made up swear words. If I did, we'd be here all day and I have things to do so we shall leave it there.

He also told a lot of really bad jokes that made lots of people laugh.

Show off.

xx

Personal Best of 2012

As the year draws to a close, peoples thoughts tend to drift over the previous twelve months and assess the highs and lows. As this is my blog and I can write what I want, I thought I'd put together a little list of my personal moments of the year. Feel free to disagree or remind me of things I may have forgotten. I am not the most memory-savvy guy around.

 - Gigs, gigs and more gigs.

I know this is a bit of a cheat but if I separated all of the gigs I have been to this year, they'd take up the whole bloody list. Over the last year I've seen Dawes at Dingwalls, The Boss, John Fogerty etc. at Hyde Park, Gary Clark Jr. in Shoreditch, Rival Sons at The Electric Ballroom and The North Mississippi Allstars at The Borderline. There were others but you get the idea. I didn't see a single duff gig all year. My eyes and ears were opened to some great talent and most importantly it made me realise that I must always be trying to raise my game. As a musician this is vital. If you stop being inspired, you might as well give up. There is so much great live music out there so there should never be any excuses. Look, Listen and Learn as they say.

 - The Cricket

Anyone who knows me will know that I do get a bit obsessed by watching the game and this year was no different. England had a very topsy turvy year and Kent didn't do the business so it wasn't a vintage year. We lost the top ranking to South Africa and then went on to beat India in their own back yard. Go figure. The highlight for me though, was going to see England play S.A. at the Oval. My sister got me tickets for christmas last year and it was an inspired gift. I had a lovely day, Cook scored a ton and the sun even came out. To top it all off, I got followed on Twitter by 'the beer snake'. Result!

 - Great albums

It was a good year for Milos ears, this year. The new Rival Sons album was a belter, as was the latest Justin Townes Earl, Ryan Bingham, Howlin' Rain, Tedeschi Trucks, Black Keys and Tom Waits. One of the great things about the internet is the choice it gives you and the access to such a broad spectrum of music. I wouldn't have been aware of half the stuff I now listen to on a daily basis if it weren't for the web. I just wish that there was more time in the day to listen to it all.

 - Family and Friends

When it comes down to it, this is the most important. I'm a lucky bugger to have such good mates and to be part of such a talented family. It never ceases to amaze me that I haven't pissed them all off by now. I really must try harder to be a better human being.
In the last week or so I have managed to spend a great deal of time with my loved ones and it has been an absolute treat. Friends have returned from far flung places and we managed to get the family all in one room which is a rare thing indeed.
The family have outdone themselves again. One of my sisters has been off singing professionally  around the world while the other one has played some very high profile gigs and can even be seen on the BBC over christmas. My brother released his second album and I had the privilege of playing at his launch party in Manchester while my mother continues to write bestselling books at an alarming rate. My pride in their achievements can never be overstated.
As for my friends, they know who they are and what they've done. I only hope they know how much they mean to me.

So that is it for 2012. Lets see what the new year has in store. As Tennessee Williams wrote:

The future is called "perhaps," which is the only possible thing to call the future.  And the only important thing is not to allow that to scare you.  

Cheers!

Did you ever have one of those nights?

I know that I've covered a lot of this ground before and lots of other people have too. It's nothing new to have a spectacularly bad gig but when it happens, it always takes you by surprise. You can't prepare for it and the psychological fall-out is bloody huge....for about five minutes.

Last night we played a town about 30 miles away from where I live. It's a very different place to the town I live in. Where I live, not a great deal happens (in an arty way) and everyone desperately tries to be as laid back as possible. (you should see the london types wearing massively expensive 'sruffy' gear) The place we played last night was not like this.

On the way to the gig, we discussed the strange feeling known as 'The Nameless Dreads'. That odd feeling of apprehension that you get despite not having anything to worry about. A feeling of blameless anxiety and worry. Most people suffer from it at some point, don't they? I often end up worrying about the fact that I have nothing to worry about. Second guessing your conscience is never bright.

Anyway, we arrived at the pub and got shown to where we would be playing. We've played the pub before but only as a duo and never in the same position twice. Each time, we have been put somewhere else and this time was no exception. We were placed 'down the end' in what felt like a shoe-box. A tight space with walls both sides and a low ceiling. I don't want to get technical but that is not an acoustically promising space.

Kellys Heroes are a loud band. I wish we weren't but we are. We have tried to calm it down but it never works. We all plead innocence and say, "It's not me!" but we all secretly know that it's all of us. The drummer hits the drums like he's playing 'whack-a-mole', the bassist has so much low-end that we all need surgery on our knees, the guitarists genuinely believe that they're playing Wembley and the singer shouts and screams like a man possessed. All in all, a noisy bunch of bastards.

I could write a whole book on the inner workings of band volume but I can't be arsed. Every gigging muso knows what I mean and every one of them is guilty of the same crimes.

So we set up, all agree it's far too loud and then retire to the bar. One of our number has to 'work' the room as about five ex-girlfriends have turned up (mostly with new blokes) and the rest of us slink off to the garden. We sit and discuss how loud it is, how bad it sounds and how it'll deafen everyone. We still do nothing about it but it's always good to talk about these things.

None of this is helping my feeling of unease.

We start playing to about ten or twelve people and after the first few songs we get the sort of applause that you usually hear at a village cricket match. All rock & roll so far. About six songs in and people start to show up. As soon as this happens, the band play louder. God knows why but it always happens. We finish the first set, hide in the garden and throw beer down our necks. So far so normal.

By the time we come back inside to start the second set, the place has filled up. It's busy with all sorts of different groups. Great, at least some of these people have to like us. We start the set and immediately my heart sinks. Right in front of us is a group of 'ladies' on a girly night. Oh joy!

A lady with big bones and even bigger tattoos decides she's my best mate. She repeatedly shows off her pole dancing skills to my mic stand. She drags various friends to the front and then flings them about but most of all, she stares. For whole songs she stands right in front of me and just stares. Basically what this means is that no one else can see anything of me except the top of my head. This gets me annoyed.

You can't tell a woman to f*ck-off over a microphone. You can do it to a man but for some reason you can't do it to a woman and if ever there was a time I wanted to, it was now. The nameless dreads had turned in to full blown anger. I was in a proper diva huff. Nothing was going to change my mood and all I wanted to do was go home. If nothing else than to give my ears a rest from the immense racket.

My mood was not helped by the guitarist introducing me as gay, before accidentally dropping a stage light on my head. It never rains........

Normally these things in isolation wouldn't annoy me but for some reason, it was one of those nights. A night that you wish had never happened. A night that made me think I need to change professions. A night that made me want to quit bands for good and take up darts. A night that for no good reason, sucked.

And then I realised I was being a twat. Bloody musicians. Everyone has bad days. Stop being such a drama queen and get over yourself. Chalk it up to experience and move on to the next gig.

It's all part of being a gigging musician and we all go through it. I'm sure the audience had a whale of a time and that is all that matters, I guess. If it were not for this blog, my memories of this gig would fade quickly and be replaced by ones of great gigs yet to come.

Having said that, if that woman with the tattoos turns up at the next gig........

Funny Old World

Being a gigging musician can be great fun. It gets you out. You meet lots of people (Some you're glad to have met and some not so much). You get to go to lots of fun places and people clap you.

The main thing I like about gigging is it keeps me busy. It gives me a reason to leave the house and do something vaguely constructive because like a lot of musicians, I don't like my own company. It's no secret that some muso's tend to be quite sad people. It goes with the territory. You come off stage to a standing ovation, pack up, go home and sit on your own. It's not a great feeling.

My own brand of sadness is a horrid thing that grabs me when I'm left to my own devices. If I have a few days off, I can always feel it coming. A horrible, self perpetuating feeling of dread. You know it's coming and because of that, it arrives even quicker.

When I was in my younger days, I fought a running battle with it. My first attempt at living on my own was a disaster. I quickly realised that I'm not good at it. I always felt that the devil makes work for a lonely brain. Give my mind some time on it's own and it will eventually try and cripple itself. So I moved in with a friend and it helped for a while but I still found myself alone a lot. I soon realised that I was doing this on purpose. My mind was trying to be sneaky. I think it got a kick out of being the centre of attention. I would find excuses not to do things. Not to go out. To stay inside and feel crap. 

How stupid is that?!?!?

Anyway, I eventually moved back from London to the coast and my family. Over the next couple of years, things got slowly better. I would have the odd dip but nothing like as bad as before. The real change happened when I began to gig again. I had played in bands all through my teenage years and stopped dead when I moved to London. Now I was back playing again and without me even noticing, my mood improved.

Unfortunately, nothing lasts for ever and over the last year or so, feelings have started to creep back. Insidiously changing moods and outlooks. Subtly undermining confidence and drive. Removing light and encouraging doubt. All these things will be familiar to many and I know that I'm no different. I'm just angry. 

Why does the mind want to self destruct? It's a stupid thing to do. Bloody ridiculous, if you ask me.

No one likes to feel sad. No one wants to feel sad. People just get that way sometimes.

The way I deal with it is by keeping busy and pretending it's not there. Rather that than go back on those bloody drugs. Gigs are a great way of doing this because they are a commitment involving others. You can't be selfish and decide not to go. You'd be letting the rest of the band down, not to mention the audience and venue etc. I'm sure someone with letters after their name would call it a coping mechanism but that sounds weird. It's just life. Same as everyone else's.

In order to stop this post being a massive downer, I'll finish on a lovely Woody Allen quote. No one made the neurotic human condition as funny as he did.

"I was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss."

 Pub, anyone? ;)

For Those About To .......

I wrote an entry a little while ago about having toothache which seemed to touch a nerve (ha ha!) with a few people. It gets mentioned quite a lot so the memory of that weekends gigs is still pretty fresh in my mind. Last night was the first time that I have returned to the venue of the 'toothache' gig.

Driving down there, Ian and I joked about the hilarity of my previous suffering and that this time it was Friday the 13th so what could possibly go wrong? Oh what funny scamps musicians are...

On arrival, we walked in to the pub to be greeted with the smell of a school canteen. Not what you expect from a pub but we went with it. The 'stage' area was still covered with tables, empty glasses and (funnily enough) drinkers. It's always annoying when this happens because you hope to god that the landlord or whoever is going to sort it out because you don't want to. Having to move tables, chairs, glasses and people, can be tricky for musicians. If you have ever seen the inside of a musicians house, you will know that its usually filled with tables, chairs, glasses and people so we are not used to moving said items. Instead, we just piled up all our gear in the corner hoping that the tables and chairs would notice and wander off of their own accord. They didn't so we went and found the barman.

After the burger that was on the floor had been cleaned up (by the dog) we set about setting up. A jolly ritual that most bands have down pat. Witty banter is tossed back and forth, comments on decor and clientele are avoided and interaction with the locals is kept to a minimum. After all, we are professionals. Then our friend appeared.

She was a lady in her forties. Slim, long hair, a bit weathered but most importantly... alone. She seemed to have no problem with talking at us. Not necessarily to us but at us. She did ask what sort of music we 'do' but that was it. She talked about all the bands she knew, how often she drinks here, who the good bands were, how often she drinks here, all the bands she knew, how often she drinks here etc. Luckily we had stuff to be getting on with so she was kept at arms length. After soundcheck was a different story.

The break between soundcheck and performance is a horrible one. So far, all you've done is move half the pub around, take up a lot of room, make random drum noises and annoy everyone. When you have finished doing that, you usually have half an hour to kill. You go to the bar, maybe have a fag and then sit as near to the gear as possible. Avoiding eye-contact with locals who think that you are too loud. In this case, we actually sat on the gear (the PA speakers anyway) and waited for our start time. There we were chatting away when our friend comes over. She ploughs straight through us looks me in the eye and says, "Don't be nervous".

Now I've been playing in bands since I was 15 and nerves aren't really something I suffer from so this came as a shock. Do I look nervous? Was I acting nervous? Oh god! Now I'm nervous!

"Don't be nervous. I've seen loads of bands. You've got nuffink to worry abaht" she slurred. I think she might have been drunk. Just guessing. The rest of the band are in fits of laughter. I suddenly feel about 12. After she has repeated this phrase about five times, we manage to turn her away. She slinks back to her seat in front of Ian (thank god) and we get ready to start.

Half way through song number three, our new friend gets up and starts dancing. This is quite tricky to 'Black Night' but she's giving it a go. At one point she stacks-it and rolls around on the floor for a bit. I think she was trying to be provocative but it was kind of hard to tell. Either way, no one in the band openly acknowledges her movements (although I have a sneaking suspicion that Ian was enjoying it) and we continue on through the set. We make plenty of references to this being my first ever gig and how nervous I am. We must have been convincing because several people said how good I coped, considering it was my first time. Bless 'em.

It is tradition in our band to finish our first set with the epic and preposterous 'Stairway to Heaven'. Don't ask why, just accept it. Anyway, we are reaching the climax of the song, I'm going on about 'winding down the road' when I notice that our friend is throwing up... a lot. She is sat at her table vomiting. Mostly on the floor but her aim isn't that great. It's very hard to concentrate on singing when you see something like that. The poor people sat near her are staring open mouthed, unsure what to do. I have to tear myself away so we can do the big finish but when I look back she is now slumped on the table in a heap. Oops!

During the break, mops spring in to action (just like in Fantasia) and everything is cleared up. The poor woman is escorted outside and that's the last we see of her. It is worth noting that this is the second time in recent memory that a woman has thrown up in front of Ian at a gig. 'nuff said.

The rest of the gig went really well. The place got packed and everyone was thoroughly entertained. I was left however, with an odd feeling about what had gone before. It made me wonder how a person allows themselves to get in to that position? How other people can allow someone to get in to that position? She was obviously lonely. I don't know why she was lonely but loneliness is a horrible thing for anyone to endure. Music is meant to bring people together. To unite and bring cheer. It's always sad when that doesn't happen, even for just one person. It makes me think that we must all try a little harder.

I'm not entirely sure how to end this so I shall just quote Lord Chesterton,

"No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkeness - or so good as drink."

The Only Way Is Essex.... gigs.

As a musician in a local band, the options to travel to exotic places are limited. The odd gig in Hastings or The Isle of Sheppey are about as exciting as it usually gets. This all changes however, once every couple of months when the band travel to Saffron Walden.

To fill everyone in, SW is the home of our drummer (one of them, anyway) who for the purposes of this blog, we will call Chris. Chris has lived in and around Saffron Walden most of his life but doesn't often get a chance to show off his drumming skills, such as they are. As caring band-mates we realise that this is a problem. All musicians (except folkies) have a natural desire to show off and especially when their friends are watching. Therefore, once every couple of months we take a trip up to the land of Oliver (Jamie, not Twist) and make a lot of noise.

Saffron Walden is a lovely town and I'm sure has a great many delightful shops and cafes etc. Unfortunately, I only see it from the window of the van or first thing in the morning, slightly the worse for wear. Thus, my judgement is somewhat lacking but as far as I'm concerned, it's the bomb.

We play a small pub just out of the centre of town. It's got a hundred tellys all showing Sky Sports and the Landlord supports West Ham. Don't know why that's relevant, it just is. They don't have regular live music so it's always a bit of a shock to the locals when we turn up with PA cabs and drum kits etc.

Trying to set up in a pub that's not used to bands is always fun. The locals become hugely territorial. They stand their ground, pretending not to notice the encroaching 'gear' just behind them. You eventually have to say 'Excuse me mate' so you can put down the half ton bass-bin that you're holding in front of his face. Even though you erect the musicians force field (mic stands) they still weave their way through your gear as it's the quickest way to get to the smoking area. Sound checks are greeted with defiance. "I refuse to acknowledge that a loud band is playing behind me and I will continue my conversation despite the fact that the person I'm talking to a) can't hear me anymore and b) is now staring at the drummer."

Once we start playing everyone becomes an instant Kellys Heroes fan. That or they leave pretty sharpish. It's about 50/50. The low ceiling in the pub makes for a good (if somewhat noisy) atmosphere and all of Chris' chums come out to support him. We get drunk dancers, wobbly essex geezers, mad old men, orange women, drunken ladies trying to touch me (again!) and all in the space of two hours. I'm never quite sure how many people in the audience at these gigs are aware of Lynyrd Skynard's body of work but they whoop and holler to 'Freebird' as if their Saturday nights depended on it. A certain amount of the irony that Kellys inject in to a set gets lost in translation but who cares? We love them and they love us. At least, the drunk woman who can't really focus, loves us anyway.

After the gig, we pack up and move on to Chris' luxury pad above a pizza restaurant. By the time we get there, half of the town seems to be in the front room, smoking and drinking and dancing and generally having a jolly old time. This is where it gets awkward. The average age of our band is deceptively old. We may throw ourselves about on stage with gay abandon but we have to go and have a lie-down afterwards. One of our number doesn't even drink... I know... A musician who doesn't drink..... what's all that about?!?!?

Anyway, we sit at the back of the room., chatting to people far more drunk than we are. I silently debate whether it's worth trying to catch up with them all. I decide it's probably not a good idea. We eat kebabs and drink beer instead. After a while it becomes apparent that none of the party goers are going anywhere for quite some time. This is not good news for the tired band members who are due to be sleeping on the sofas. I know it's not very rock & roll but what can I say? The days of all night shenanigans after gigs is waaaaaaaaay behind (most of) us and the thought of not getting to sleep until the wee small hours strikes fear in to the ageing heart.

After a little conversation, we decide to pile in the van and head back to Kent. Luckily one of our number doesn't drink (did I mention that already?) so driving is not a problem. Falling asleep at the wheel is still a problem but at least he'll do it sober. We make our excuses, hug everyone and leave the party in full swing. Starting the engine on the bassists van, we notice that the fuel gauge is on zero......... Balls!

What follows is the slowest journey to the petrol station that you have ever seen. We decide it's about 20 miles to the nearest (open) gas station so we had better be careful. Creeping along unlit roads at 3:30am is not helping the sleepiness of the band. I pass out and wake up to the bright lights of the petrol station. Alive. We made it this far and it's not that much past 4am. The rest of the journey goes off without a hitch and I finally crawl in to bed at some time after 5am.

As I lay in bed thinking about what has gone before (for the the five seconds before I fall in to a post gig coma) I realise that had we stayed put, we would probably be asleep already. This tickles me but not as much as the knowledge that I'll be waking up in my own bed and in my own pyjamas. I'm not sure if our Essex mates would approve. Does this make me old? I'm not sure but if it does, pass me the Horlicks.